IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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In the modern world, agriculture is developing and doing
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 best.
However
Linking Words
, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who struggle to find
food
Use synonyms
 and go hungry. From my perspective, it is due to the high prices of
food
Use synonyms
, and
low
Correct article usage
the low
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of
Add an article
the employee
an employee
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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. For the solution of
problem
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the problem
a problem
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,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 could do charity
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and make
Correct your spelling
programs
progrmas
Correct your spelling
programs
 to increase the number of workers. The
government
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 is improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture,
although
Linking Words
,
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not notice the economical problems connected with poor citizens. Not so many
people
Use synonyms
's earnings are enough to buy meals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the level of unemployment and homeless
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 increasing.
Thus
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 can not afford any
food
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 due to the lack of money. Obviously, to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, there should be
balance
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a balance
show examples
 between
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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 of workers. For
this
Linking Words
, there should be
controlling
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a controlling
the controlling
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 system, that
regulate
Change the verb form
regulates
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 all sides.
Also
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should allocate money to improving the amount of employee by doing some program, that helps to find
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
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. To conclude, agriculture and its advancements should be helpful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's life too. But if the
government
Use synonyms
 do not do something
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
this
Linking Words
 problem, it will be big
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 in the future.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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