IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#parents #tutors #children #school #hours #development
Nowadays, there are many parents who are keen on hiring private teachers to home-school their
children
. Its effect on
children
 is being questioned whether it gives a negative or positive development. In my opinion, I am in absolute agreement that
this
 can have a negative impact on them.
First
 of all, socialization, which is lacking in being home-schooled, is vital to
children
's growth and development. As far as emotional, psychological and physical aspects are concerned, it is important for a child to mingle and play with other
children
 in their growing years. Having someone to interact with, allows a child to develop emotional intelligence, build up some strength, and gain more insights.
For instance
, interactive games will allow a child to be mentally alert, and physically active, and will enhance their ability to work in a team.
Furthermore
, a student who has studied in a reputable school with a physical building, will not have a difficulty in getting their academic backgrounds honoured in the future. Academic records are most of the time a requirement for employment or studying abroad. As home-schooling is not generally acknowledged globally, it could not ease their future transaction. In conclusion, I am of the firm belief that employing a private tutor will not be beneficial to school-aged
children
 as compared to enrolling them on a campus with other students. It will affect their character, and their mental, and physical health.
Furthermore
, it could possibly trouble them in gathering scholastic records in future transfer and employment.
Submitted by eyeteaser_18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: