IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In general, people are living longer now, wich of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon? . Technological improves . Change to education systems . Improvements to our diets

#people #wich #accounts #phenomenon #change #education #systems #improvements #diets
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It is clear that nowadays
humanity
Use synonyms
lives
Use synonyms
 longer than before, and all of
this
Linking Words
 is related to new
technologies
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. The
sciences
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 are improving their resources and
technologies
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 too. Personally, I believe that
technology
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 will help to resolve new illnesses and people could achieve immortality. I feel
this
Linking Words
 way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
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 has helped to discover and solve problems very fast,
such
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 as cancer, virus, and different bacteria.
Besides
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 ,
technology
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 is used in surgeries , which helps Doctors when they can make it by themselves. It is true that
technology
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 has improved Plastic surgeries where people have a problem with their appearance and can change it, and to be youngest. My own experience is a compelling example of
this
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. I had a friend whose mother had cancer, thanks a
technology
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 like chemotherapy she has a new opportunity in her life.
Secondly
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, Nowadays the
sciences
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 and
technologies
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 are raising of the quality our
lives
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. These
technologies
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 help us to have better
lives
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 than before. In the past ,
humanity
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 was dying because the
technology
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 was poor, in ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fact hospital has revolutionary
technologies
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such
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 as x-ray, and magnetic resonance where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors can explore our all bodies and study our brains and detect the causes almost immediately.
For instance
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, When the pandemic started , everybody was scared because anybody didn't know what was happening, the people were dying so the
sciences
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 and
technologies
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 started to work together and as a result after a lot of work ,
finally
Linking Words
 discovered a vaccine,
this
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 was amazing because was record time . Now everybody has a vaccine thanks to
technology
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
technologies
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 are necessary for our
lives
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 to improve so
humanity
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 can live more time and be better.
This
Linking Words
 is happening because the
sciences
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 are studying new
technology
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technologies
Use synonyms
 so that someday
humanity
Use synonyms
 can reach immortality and attempt to finish our illness.
Submitted by rulalolo37 on

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