Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, most pupils spend a lot of their
time
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scrolling through social media or games on their
gadgets
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from
time
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to
time
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. It can be argued that our
children
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can gain many advantages from
this
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trend,
however
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, I believe there are a lot of drawbacks both mental and physical, for the following reasons. There are some reasons why
children
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choose to spend their
time
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with mobile phones.
Firstly
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, the number of criminals is increasing significantly these days,
this
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factor makes parents worry if the
children
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play in the garden without any supervision from the adults.
As a result
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, parents give their kids
gadgets
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to force them to stay at home and feel safe from any bad effects
such
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as kidnapping.
Secondly
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, some
children
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believe that they can learn and gain some pros information,
such
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as educational apps and interactive learning tools.
This
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can attract
children
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’ skills to develop both their mental,
also
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ability to select the good between the bad effects of smartphones’ features.
For example
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,
children
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can learn how to build a system from a website. In some cases,
children
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also
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get money from winning games online.
Besides
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the good effects of phones, parents should consider the drawbacks of
children
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who spend almost every day with
gadgets
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.
Furthermore
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, killing
time
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in front of
gadgets
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can cause serious illnesses
such
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as poor posture and eye strain.
This
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would be very bad for kids for a long period and they might have surgery in the future. For another reason, always spending almost all of their
time
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in front of
gadgets
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could make
children
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feel isolated. They might feel cannot socialize with their friends because they do not know how to build connections with others.
This
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might happen because
children
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just know how to play with their
gadgets
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, not how to connect with other humans.
To sum up
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, some communities believe that
children
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might be safe to stay at home rather than play in the garden with their friends because of the number of criminals that happen.
However
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, I believe that the drawbacks might become more dangerous in the future
such
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as eye strain or bad posture.
Submitted by suryawatinovita on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the overall logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph naturally flows from one to the next. Consider using clearer topic sentences.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons and consequences of children spending time on smartphones for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Includes relevant specific examples, such as educational apps and learning tools, which help illustrate the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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