In past museums storged information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through internet. And, therefore, there is no need in museums. Do you agree or disagree?

,
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
the old data and stories about old nation's culture and their history are very important to be stored properly nowadays, using technology
such
as the internet can be stored but ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
something inside
this
information must be demonstrated to the reader so I partially agree with there is no reason to keep museum buildings.
firstly
, I disagree with
this
because the museum buildings are not the way to tell the past by reading and recalling the knowledge about the old notion only but there is still something inside the building that moves our feeling or touch our hearts to understand
this
data which stored in the rocks
such
as pyramids in Egypt, an old museum in Rome.
Moreover
,using new technology
such
as light and sound effects inside these buildings helps to recall all the spirit of the glory of ancient ,the fall of nations and the adoption of changes through all ages.
on the contrary
, I agree that using new technology for storing and recalling data is a very easy way and it will be viral through the internet
thus
anybody can get
this
information about the place without visiting it. In the conclusion,partially agree with the idea of no need for museums is very complicated with the new modern life
this
is going fast but ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
there is a need to view the old nation's history and learn from the past.
Submitted by basem.eltantawi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: