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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.

#people #idea #schools #person #parent #skills
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, a certain number of people think that there should be some sessions in schools to make all youngsters good guardians.
While
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 critics do not agree with the above notion. I totally agree that some lessons are required to teach
parents
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 how to raise their
children
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.
This
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 will delve into the reason behind my viewpoint
along with
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 describing the
skills
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 required of good
parents
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.
To begin
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 with, the most prominent reason to support the statement is that schooling sessions are necessary because students can learn at the school level how many hurdles their
parents
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 are facing in raising them
such
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 as time management and money management.
Moreover
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, another important reason could be they can learn about some easy strategies to grow their newborn.
For instance
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, how to feed them with proper nutrition, selecting proper supplements for their growth, and keeping themselves calm when babies cry. Classes at schools related to these can help them to get abundant
skills
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 in how to grow and teach the
children
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. There are numerous strategies that are vital to grow the kids properly. The primary one is guardians are required to manage their time and money in a proper manner to provide a healthy life for the kids. Meanwhile, they need to keep a keen eye on what their
children
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 are eating to avoid malnutrition.
However
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, discipline and calmness are extremely vital
skills
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 that
parents
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 should have
while
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 growing their
children
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 to get positive repercussions. Especially, a new mother needs to attend proper classes so that they can take care of and understand the actions of their babies.
To conclude
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, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is crystal clear that providing classes to all young people to become good
parents
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 has numerous benefits in future
hence
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, they must be attended by all because they encourage them to learn some
skills
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 for growing their teenagers in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 way.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the question are thoroughly addressed. While your essay discusses reasons to support teaching parenting skills, it briefly touches upon the skills needed but doesn't fully develop this aspect. Adding more detailed examples of the essential parenting skills would strengthen your response.
task achievement
Work on clear and comprehensive idea development throughout the essay. Some ideas are hinted at but not fully expanded upon. For instance, rather than just mentioning time and money management, discuss specific strategies for how parents can manage these aspects effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. Specific examples can make your arguments more convincing. For example, include detailed strategies for maintaining discipline and calmness or examples of specific classes that can help new parents.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression and structure throughout the essay. Some parts of your essay lack clear transitions, making it slightly difficult to follow. Consider using more transitional phrases to link ideas between paragraphs clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured format for the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points with examples, such as discussing time and money management or feeding babies with proper nutrition. This demonstrates an attempt to provide substantive content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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