Many countries spend a lot of money in the arts. Some people think investment in the arts is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public service and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
governments
financially support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art development. But some
people
argue that they should invest in public
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
and
facilities
. In my opinion, I think
governments
should spend more money mainly
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
upgrading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public services and
facilities
. Some
people
think
governments
ought to invest in the arts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
can make their city more attractive. It is an enjoyable thing that the city is decorated with sculptures or
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
paintings. In
this
way, more visitors will come to have a trip there. Thereby, it can promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development.
By contrast
, if a city
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
have any art exhibitions all year
Correct your spelling
round
show examples
around
Correct your spelling
round
show examples
, urban dwellers wouldn’t arise their horizons and
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
depressed with their daily life.
Although
art can help residents with their creativity and artistic taste, more money should be used
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
building a wholesome
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
.
For example
, it’s important to establish an efficient public transport system. If there isn’t a well-built traffic system, there will be more traffic accidents and traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
,
thus
numerous businesses will be affected. Another example is a
government supportive
Add a hyphen
government-supportive
show examples
public school and other educational resources
such
as libraries will benefit
people
a lot. Those can help more children to learn knowledge and improve young
people
’s job prospects. Public services
such
as medical
facilities
can help
people
reduce the opportunities of getting ill and improve their health.
People
can gain a lot of advantages directly if
governments
invest more money in public
facilities
. As for arts, the benefit is small and don’t contribute much to our life. In conclusion, I am convinced that
governments
in countries all around the world should focus on public services and
facilities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
can make their country more prosperous, even though artistic works can decorate our life to some extent.
Submitted by huhuhuhu00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: