IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting . To what extend do you agree or discuss both?

#governments #focus #services #arts #music
The financial support is spent by governments out to be concentrated more on public
services
 in excess of the heart of art like Painting and Music. I totally agree with
this
 because that budget is needed for the
services
 of the public .
Firstly
, there is an impediment to public meditation
services
 .In many ,states ambulances are very slow and outdated.
For instance
, ambulances in Uzbekistan were given conveyances of
eighties
Change the article
the eighties
show examples
 which are small and as well as uncomfortable.
Therefore
 , in 2020 , during the quarantine, many citizens of Uzbekistan suffered when called an ambulance and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one was late.
Consequently
, they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passed away but if that vehicle arrived on time these people would be alive today.
Secondly
, education
also
 needs financial resources from the government. Several buildings
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the schools could be destroyed due to unreliability. A good example is
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 where my friend study .
Although
 it is very outdated they study there .
Last
 year in the chemistry class and there was a reaction . Though the pupils were alive they got serious illnesses because there was no ventilation. If the school was repaired that could that could not occur. In conclusion, in my opinion, the budget of governments should be spent on public
services
 because they need it more . After that , a small half might be spent on art.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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