IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
In the present age,
people
 assume that wanting to upgrade road safety the best choice is to increase the minimum lawful age for steering an automobile or a motorbike. I agree with
this
 fact and in
this
 essay, I will explain why. The primary fact we need to take into consideration is that it provides teens to be more physically active which improves health. It is because removing the option of driving will enhance young children to walk, run or ride bikes. These days
people
 are lazy to work out so walking
instead
 of driving would increase chances of better health. What is more, some teenagers aren’t mature enough for driving. It is because maturity level increases with
people
's age. Driving a motorbike, car, or any other transport while being older will decrease the chances of car crashes. My personal example could be that when I drive and see teens driving a vehicle or a minibike I get scared of them crashing into me because of their low level of maturity.
In contrast
, some others may claim that it limits transportation options for youngsters. These days
people
 have to get from one point to another very fast
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which automobile or motorbike bike helps.
That is
 how the responsibility falls down
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the parents and a child can choose on their own how to get to where he needs having an option of driving.
In contrast
, I think
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
 should be old enough in that way of being mature to drive. It would not only decrease
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
 of getting in a fatal road accident but
also
impowering
Correct your spelling
empowering
 them to get more physically active.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: