IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen, but it did not work. You phoned the shop, but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter • describe the problem with the equipment • explain what happened when you phoned the shop • say what you would like the manager to do. Write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to complain to you about the recently bought electric kettle from your company, A&B, Scarborough location. I purchased it on June 30, 2 days prior to Canada Day as soon as I went home and tried to use it the next morning it did not work. At
first,
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I thought there might be some electrical issue, unfortunately, I tried to heat the water after some time, but it did not work.
Therefore
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, I called the store to explain the issue and asked them if they could repair it or replace it. I was disappointed as they were not ready to listen and pay attention to my problem. One team member said it is not eligible for return even though their company policy says repair and return are accepted. The behaviour of team members was disgruntled,
hence
Linking Words
 I asked for
manager’s
Correct article usage
the manager’s
show examples
 contact. It is my humble request to either repair or replace it
otherwise
Linking Words
, I would be interested to get my refund for the product as I have
bill
Add an article
a bill
the bill
show examples
 of purchase. I hope you will solve my problem soon. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, you might want to break down some long sentences into shorter ones.
task achievement
Consider being more specific about what you expect from the manager, like perhaps giving a specific time frame for the action you would like taken.
task achievement
You have clearly described the problem with the equipment, making it easy for the reader to understand the issue.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and formal tone, suitable for the context of a complaint letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph clearly focuses on a single idea which improves readability.
greeting and closing
The letter is completed with appropriate greetings and closings which reflects good writing etiquette.
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