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Band 4.5

Some people think that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement.

#people #person
In recent days, whenever we
on
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are on
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 the television or flick over the pages of newspapers we keep on seeing news related to crimes. Crime rate is being increased nowadays. Some people claim that a
person
 who commits
crime
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a crime
show examples
 will never change his attitude and
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind-set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 and tends to do crime always. I don't agree with
this
 statement. My inclination is elaborated in
ensuing
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the ensuing
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 paragraph with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, when a
person
 is given prison punishment he is both mentally and physically affected.
For instance
, there are open-air prisons in some countries which makes them feel better
,
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apply
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 and are given opportunities for higher studies and basic learning.
This
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in turn
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inturn
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in turn
show examples
 changes the behaviour of the offender and helps him to lead a better life.
Furthermore
, we should encourage and motivate them
instead
 of pulling them down. The police authorities and judicial court are
also
 taking necessary steps to enter them
in
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into
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 detention
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to improve their quality of life. Every
person
 should be given an
Correct your spelling
opportunity
apportunity
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opportunity
 to change his mistakes.
In addition
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
thisto
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, by doing higher studies they get good paid jobs which reduces
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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to
Change preposition
from
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 do crimes. To recapitulate, I am against the statement that criminals will always be an offender. Better opportunity, proper advice,
motivation
Correct word choice
and motivation
show examples
 helps them to lead a proper life. Every
person
 needs
a
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apply
show examples
time to realize his mistakes and should be given a
second
 chance.
Such
Add an article
The such
show examples
mentality
Correct article usage
a mentality
show examples
 of people will make them feel offended and guilty when they come out. In
such
 cases, they are pulled into doing crimes again.
Submitted by preethikrish444 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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