Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are conflicting opinions regarding whether competitive
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are beneficial to
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will analyze arguments on both sides before deducting my personal opinion. On the one hand, competitive
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

allow youths to experience their
growing
Replace the word
growth

The word growing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

step by step,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encourage. Consider changing it.

show examples
them to become practical and perseverant. To be more specific, in order to win in
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions

It seems that competition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to keep
practicing
Change the spelling
practising

The spelling of practicing is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
their
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and learn lessons from every practice.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a badminton player would need to receive
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun training in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
training
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
non-stop running for 10
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres

The spelling of kilometers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
as well as
practicing
Change the spelling
practising

The spelling of practicing is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
the same technical move over hundreds of times on a daily basis, in an attempt to develop their
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
badminton gradually.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

arduous processes will teach
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
growing
Replace the word
growth

The word growing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and success are the results
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
perseverance and hard
working
Replace the word
work

The word working doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will have a stronger heart and be able to constantly apply themselves when having a clear target in their future life.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

become too goal-oriented if too much emphasis is placed on the final result. Young people playing
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

usually represent their school in competitions. If
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the case, in order to achieve
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
satisfying result, their coaches would put too
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun pressures. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

show examples
pressures
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure

It seems that pressures may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
on them, which can make them believe that winning is extremely important and they would achieve
goal
Add an article
the goal
a goal

The noun phrase goal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
at any cost. Later in their adult life, they would reckon that
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb achieve. Consider changing it.

show examples
the
desire
Change the verb form
desired

The verb desire should be in the participle form when used as an adjective. Consider changing the form of this verb.

show examples
goal or not is the only way to estimate career success. If they fail to achieve the goal they want, they would feel unworthy or even
stressful
Replace the word
stressed

The word stressful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, which will have a negative impact on their working performance. In conclusion, I feel that the impact of competitive
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

depends on how
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and their
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches

It seems that coach may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
approach it.
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will benefit from
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

if they focus on developing their
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rather than the result. Whereas if the only meaning to
Add an article
the teenager
a teenager
show examples
Add an article
the teenager
a teenager

The noun phrase teenager seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
of
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is just to win,
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

competitions would be detrimental to children’s future life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: