Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #effect #education #teenagers

There are conflicting opinions regarding whether competitive

sports

are beneficial to

teenagers

This

essay will analyze arguments on both sides before deducting my personal opinion. On the one hand, competitive

sports

allow youths to experience their

growing

Replace the word

growth

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

skills

step by step,

therefore

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

them to become practical and perseverant. To be more specific, in order to win in

sports

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

teenagers

need to keep

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

their

skills

and learn lessons from every practice.

For example

, a badminton player would need to receive

Remove the article

apply

show examples

training

Change preposition

show examples

non-stop running for 10

kilometers

Change the spelling

kilometres

show examples

as well as

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

the same technical move over hundreds of times on a daily basis, in an attempt to develop their

skills

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

badminton gradually.

Such

arduous processes will teach

teenagers

that

growing

Replace the word

growth

show examples

and success are the results

from

Change preposition

show examples

perseverance and hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

Therefore

, they will have a stronger heart and be able to constantly apply themselves when having a clear target in their future life.

On the other hand

teenagers

would

also

become too goal-oriented if too much emphasis is placed on the final result. Young people playing

sports

usually represent their school in competitions. If

this

is the case, in order to achieve

the

Correct article usage

show examples

satisfying result, their coaches would put too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

pressures

Fix the agreement mistake

pressure

show examples

on them, which can make them believe that winning is extremely important and they would achieve

goal

Add an article

the goal

a goal

show examples

at any cost. Later in their adult life, they would reckon that

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

the

desire

Change the verb form

desired

show examples

goal or not is the only way to estimate career success. If they fail to achieve the goal they want, they would feel unworthy or even

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

, which will have a negative impact on their working performance. In conclusion, I feel that the impact of competitive

sports

depends on how

teenagers

and their

coach

Fix the agreement mistake

coaches

show examples

approach it.

teenagers

will benefit from

sports

if they focus on developing their

skills

rather than the result. Whereas if the only meaning to

Add an article

the teenager

a teenager

show examples

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

sports

is just to win,

sports

competitions would be detrimental to children’s future life.

Submitted by hbljy123 on Tue Oct 18 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote a healthier lifestyle
valuable life skills
mental focus
teamwork and communication
time management
stress relief
neglecting academics
intense pressure
physical injuries
mental stress
time commitment
fear of failure
emotional well-being
academic performance
balancing sports and academics

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Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that teachers are essential to the learning process. Others argue that students at schools and universities learn far more from other sources (such as the Internet and television) than from lessons with teachers. What are your views on this?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?