Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The advancement of contemporary communication technologies like smartphones makes our lives easier than before, as
people
tend to use
this
type of gadget to collect information and accomplish day-to-day tasks.
However
, a group of individuals often believed that the use of smartphones played an important role in every aspect of life,
while
others thought that nowadays these devices would badly affect someone's life.
However
,
this
essay is going to explain why I agree with the second statement.
To begin
with, a large number of
people
tend to use smartphones to accomplish their daily work.
For example
, learning purposes, shopping online, banking activities, etc.
Moreover
, with the help of the internet and devices,
people
are able to complete these tasks alone with just one or three clicks on their phones.
This
trend will have a drastic impact on social communication.
Besides
, in
this
contemporary world, living a long distance is no big problem because
people
can readily get connected with each other through modern communication tools or apps
such
as Facebook, Zoom, Skype, Instagram, etc.
On the other hand
, it is nice to drop our mobiles off
while
we are travelling. Because there are beautiful scenery in the surroundings to enjoy.
Additionally
, we can have a chat with an elderly person who is an expert in a certain field rather than using the internet to collect the information.
Therefore
, we can gain a better knowledge of their experience with them.
For instance
, when we want to prepare a report on pottery, it is better to visit a location and meet the
people
who are engaging in the industry with details rather than follow up on documentaries on the internet. In a nutshell, interacting with new
people
is part and parcel of human life, as it directs us to good physical and mental well-being. So I strongly believe that we should drop our phones and start to interact with the
people
around us.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in your introduction to guide readers through your essay. This helps in aligning your argument more visibly with the question.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure each paragraph fully addresses elements of the prompt. Expand on how smartphones specifically impact social interaction negatively, as the question suggests.
coherence cohesion
Increase the use of linking words and phrases to show clearer relationships between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow and logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
In each body paragraph, develop one main idea thoroughly rather than introducing multiple ideas. This will strengthen the support for your argument and make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. While general examples are used, further detail could showcase your argument more convincingly and improve task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limit
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media
  • loss of real connections
  • distract
  • engaging
  • empathy
  • personal connection
  • addictive
  • isolation
  • enhance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: