Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

These days, enjoying

music

has become a universal pastime activity all around the world. It is commonly believed by some that it is a great way to unite different individuals. Personally, I strongly agree with

this

idea, and I will support my opinion with some examples.

Firstly

, I believe that even though every culture and tribe have their own unique musical preferences, all of them have the same characteristic that they appreciate

music

and dance to it.

In other words

, singing and dancing are two of the abilities human beings share with each other, regardless of their age and geographical position.

For instance

, all the

music

from around the world has very similar rhythms in the background, and it is one piece of evidence that all

people

enjoy almost the same things. Another strong argument proving

this

idea is that

music

provides the opportunity for

people

to express and understand others' feelings from deep within their hearts. What I mean by

this

is that

music

plays the same role as verbal communication in some cases. Recent studies suggest that when

people

partaking in a scientific experiment were listening to

music

, some part of their brain region activated and emitted dopamine love harmony at the same time.

Furthermore

, their empathy for others increased, resulting in more sociable and friendly behaviour. From

this

, we can clearly see that

music

helps

people

to be together. In conclusion, enjoying

music

is an important activity for humans for communicating with others, and I strongly believe that it has already become inseparable from our identity.

Submitted by n.khishigjargal99 on Tue Oct 18 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people are now working from home every day instead of travelling to the office What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this for workers and employers? Discuss your ideas and support them with reasons and examples

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