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Writing Samples
Band 4

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some People believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society
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Over the
last
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 few
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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, movies and computer
Change noun form
games
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games’
Correct your spelling
games
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content
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 has become increasingly aggressive and violent. The point of view of one group of
people
Use synonyms
 is that
this
Linking Words
content
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 has negative aspects for communities and should be prevented from
Add a missing verb
being show
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show
Change the form of the verb
showing
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.
However
Linking Words
, the other group of
people
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 believe that
this
Linking Words
content
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 not only does not have any negative consequences for
society
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 it enables individuals to relax. On one hand, some
people
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 believe that
this
Linking Words
content
Use synonyms
 has disadvantages for
society
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 because
Correct your spelling
overexposure
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over exposure
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overexposure
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 to it has negative psychological impacts on individuals ‘
behaviors
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behaviours
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 and their feelings; it can enable
people
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 to feel stress, anxiety and other feelings that make individuals in a bad mood. While their real life is free from any stress or aggressiveness.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the long-term,
this
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content
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 changes cool
people
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 into aggressive and violent ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
second
Linking Words
 group of
people
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 think that
this
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content
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 has no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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negative
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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 on
society
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 because it is assumed that adult
people
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 can differentiate between good and bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
content
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 will not negatively affect their characters. Apparently, they believe that these films and computer games are for just entertainment because they are exciting and amusing,
thus
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, they help
people
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 to relax. In conclusion, after
this
Linking Words
 essay has manifested the above-mentioned views, from my point of view, actually, movies and computer games containing aggressive and violent scenes have bad influences on
society
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 and negative effects on
people
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 's
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
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 and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. For these reasons, it is recommended to be banned to keep the world safe.
Submitted by jihad.ibrahim28 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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