Most societies have its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money

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A number of unsheltered people are seen in the locality. Many

advocate

Change to a plural noun

advocates

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believe that gifting cash is the best way to support them.

However

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, in my opinion, it is not ideal as many wanders misuse the

money

Use synonyms

and they rely on grants. The primary reason why supporting the helpless people in terms of monetary is not ideal as the houseless would not use

money

Use synonyms

wisely. They always try to live in present

instead

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of thinking about the future and they would spend all that funds in a single. It has been seen by many highly profiled individuals that funds given to beggars in a country like India are utilized by them in non-essential kinds of stuff

such

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as drinks

as well as

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cigarettes leading to their bad health.

Secondly

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, once folk start getting

money

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without working, they will feel that there is no need to struggle. The habit of getting donations eventually leads them to the path of begging. Many communities are healthy yet they decide to beg for no reason. If these vagrants go to a proper workplace,

then

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only, they will realize the value of hard-earned notes. The fact that in a country like India there are some homeless persons, who feel like begging is their profession and surprisingly,

this

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occupation is transferred from generation to generation.

To conclude

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, gifting the funds to unhoused persons is not wise as these natives lack the basics of education and they end up spending

money

Use synonyms

on drugs. The habit of taking grants

also

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supports them to stop working,

thus

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indirectly, people are supporting them to beg.

Submitted by pkaur3443 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear and proper introduction. You should start with a more engaging opening that presents the topic clearly and outline your standpoint in a more structured way.

Task Response

The essay partially addresses the prompt but there is a necessity for clearer development of your ideas. You should strive to expand on your points, providing more detailed explanations and elaborations on why you believe giving money is not an effective solution.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on crafting more coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should provide supporting information relevant to that main idea. It is also beneficial to include more diverse sentence structures as well as a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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