IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

children should always follow their parents' advice. To what extend do you agree?

#children #parents #advice
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Some say that
children
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 should always listen to their parent's
advice
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,
while
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 others claim
this
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 is not always right. From my perspective, I assume there is a reason for juveniles to obey their
parents
Use synonyms
' guidance.
However
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,
children
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 should not adopt all the suggestions without hesitation.
This
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 essay intends to strengthen my belief in detail with relevant examples. There is no doubt that
parents
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 have more experience than their offspring since they have faced and dealt with many problems.
As a result
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, following what
parents
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 tell usually helps
children
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 avoid mistakes and succeed in their future careers.
For example
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, in an interview, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, claimed that the secret of his remarkable success is the positive qualities his
parents
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 imparted to him.
On the other hand
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, listening to every piece of
advice
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 from
parents
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 would make
children
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 dependent on their
parents
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. The consequence is that they cannot develop the necessary life skills to live on their own, especially when they need to make decisions without their
parents
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.
Nevertheless
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,
parents
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'
advice
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 is incorrect in every situation because their suggestions are based on what they experienced or their thoughts.
For instance
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, many
parents
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 force their
children
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 to
come to
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 extra tuition to get better results at school without knowing how much pressure their kids are bearing.
Although
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parents
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 always want the best for their offspring, they may be self-confident sometimes, even overreact when their
children
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 do not do as they say. Juveniles need their
parents
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'
advice
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 to solve problems at a younger age, but when they grow up, doing things themselves is the best for them.
Submitted by shin.le1988 on

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task response
Ensure that your examples directly relate to the topic and provide clear support for your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good overall coherence and cohesion. However, consider using more transition words to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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