IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Health care should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. The health of a person is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. Do you agree with this opinion?

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Health
Use synonyms
 plays a prominent role
to lead
Change preposition
in leading
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 a productive and healthy lifestyle. Both the government and citizens are responsible
to achieve
Change preposition
for achieving
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 good
health
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 . I would disagree that
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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income
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 should not be calculated to provide
health
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 care
schemes
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.
However
Linking Words
, we will discuss
this
Linking Words
further
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 in the below paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, Nowadays, Humans are affected by numerous dreadful diseases which cost a huge amount for
treatment
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 and medication.
As a result
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, people lost their lives. In a recent ,study scientists revealed that the death rate extensively rises in India in the past five years
due to
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 a lack of
treatment
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.
Moreover
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, Society faces
health
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 concerns
due to
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 the excessive release of industrial pollution, unhygienic places, and failure to supply nutritious food and
health
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 camps.
For example
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, In the state of Andhra Pradesh,
honourable chief minister
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Honourable Chief Minister
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 Y.S.Jaganmohanreddy introduced
health
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 cards based on family
income
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 whoever is less than two lakhs. in
this
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 case, Most humans face a lot of problems in order to get
treatment
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 for terrible diseases which leads to losing their valuable lives.
In addition
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 to
this
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, The government ensure that
health
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schemes
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 ought to be provided free of cost regardless of a person's
income
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 which is helpful for the whole nation to cure dangerous diseases .
For instance
Linking Words
, Many countries
such
Linking Words
 as Germany,
The united
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the United
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kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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, America and many more adopted free insurance
schemes
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 which include the entire medical
treatment
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 of the citizens. Like other countries, India should promote free
health
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 insurance facilities to the nation to reduce the death of the population. In conclusion, The administration has to wise decisions in planning
health
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 insurance policies for the whole country in spite of a person's
income
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.
whereas
Linking Words
, society has to utilize
schemes
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 for proper medication in order to cure illness.

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task response
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and avoid going off-topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices such as linking words and transition signals to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
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