It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
this
modern era, many individuals
find themselves trapped in poverty due to
poor financial management and uncontrolled spending. Good financial management is essential for the new generation to ensure they continue to evolve and sustain their lives in the future. This
essay will discuss why frugal living is far more important than impulsive buying.
First and foremost, humans often seek validation and attention from others by owning material possessions. This
desire is often triggered by technology and social media trends. Consequently
, individuals
feel the need to fulfill
their happiness by buying luxury items or indulging in experiences like staycations on exotic islands.
Change the spelling
fulfil
Moreover
, if these imitation habits are not curbed, many people, especially the younger generation, will develop poor financial habits and lack sufficient funds for their future. For example
, in capital cities, young people often spend their money
on meals and unnecessary items at shopping malls after work hours instead
of heading home, all in the pursuit of momentary pleasure and happiness.
However
, while
pleasure is fleeting, saving money
provides long-term security. Individuals
with good financial management usually have clear plans and goals for their lives and are wise with their expenditures. Investing money
in educational resources like books or enrolling in skill-enhancing boot camps is beneficial for personal growth. In contrast
, impulsive individuals
often resort to debt through options like buy-now-pay-later schemes or credit cards to support their spending habits.
In conclusion, it is concerning when young individuals
accumulate substantial debt and lack financial stability. To address this
issue, governments should campaign through social media to raise awareness and improve financial literacy, encouraging people to make informed decisions before spending money
on unnecessary goods.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Consider making the introduction more explicit about your stance. While it's clear you lean towards valuing saving over impulsive spending, stating your position outright in the introduction would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Add some transitional phrases or linking words to make the flow between paragraphs smoother. For example: "Secondly", "On the other hand", etc.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to provide more depth to your arguments. This will not only support your points better but will also help in making your essay more engaging and relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with a logical flow of ideas, starting from an introduction and moving through well-developed body paragraphs to a conclusion.
task achievement
Addresses the topic comprehensively, discussing why saving money is more beneficial than impulsive buying.
task achievement
Provides relevant examples to support the argument, particularly focusing on the younger generation and modern trends.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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