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Band 5.5

Today, people's life expectancy is much higher than before. Some believe that older people should continue to work. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #life #expectancy #believe #work
In
this
 concurrent world, the average
life
 expectancy of individuals has increased due to the development of medicine, leading to new discoveries, and
by
Change preposition
apply
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providing proper treatment is an inevitable topic . Few ethnic group postulate that older
people
 should continue
Fix the infinitive
to do
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do
Correct your spelling
to
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 work until later in
life
. I vehemently accord with the given statement.
This
 essay will propound my accordance along with credible examples. The chief rationalization for my agreement comes from heterogeneous points.
Firstly
 the most discernible nub is the economy of a country . To clarify it properly, if the government increases the
retirement
age
 will help to reduce the financial burden on the state . An optimal example of
this
 can be, older
people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 educated, well experienced and completely professional they do work more accurately and provide many benefits to the nation. Another paramount ground for my belief is that for developing countries,
this
 is very crucial since the labour force will contribute to the economy and welfare of the nation. No one
deny
Change the verb form
denies
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 that government will need to less expenditure on
retirement
 pay and
also
 help senior citizens to give a discount, free travel and several other benefits. One more rationale to substantiate my crux is working until later in
life
 will be helpful for older
people
 on an individual level. It is deemed that they will not have to depend on anyone for their necessities. they can take their own decisions.
moreover
, when they will engage in work
also
 help to cope with the problems in older
age
,
such
 as loneliness and depression. These days, family members do not have time to spend with old family members due to hectic schedules, so
therefore
 raising the
retirement
age
 will solve
this
 problem. I wholeheartedly grant with the given statement and have explained the same in the above paragraphs. The overall picture,
therefore
 from the above disquisition unravels the kernel of the
Life
 expectancy of
people
.
Although
 our young generation needs to care for older
people
, yet rising
retirement
age
 is fundamentally important to boost the economy, I wholeheartedly grant the given statement and have explained the same in the above paragraphs .
Submitted by naresh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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