Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
It is hard to deny that higher
price
of sugary Fix the agreement mistake
prices
products
can discourage people
to consume sugar
, preventing from
many Change preposition
apply
health
diseases. And such
a fact leads impressionable people
to generate the opinion that sugary products
should be made more expensive.
However
such
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously.
As far as health
, feasibility, and economic
are concerned, I strongly disagree with the point that sugary Replace the word
economics
products
should be made more expensive to keep people
away from sugar
.
First
and foremost, too much consumption of sugar
truly cause numerous disease like diabetes, but so do other element
, Change the wording
another element
other elements
such
as salt, spicy and so on. To be more specific, the consumption of sugar
, salt and even water all
should be controlled moderately according to Correct pronoun usage
apply
experts’ words
. Change noun form
experts
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Further more
, whether a person would suffer from a kind of disease depends on several aspects including his own body conditions. Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Therefore
, how dare we accuse only sugary product
of causing Fix the agreement mistake
products
health
problems and raise its
Correct pronoun usage
their
price
?
Secondly
, the fact that high
Correct article usage
the high
price
of cigarette
, which Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
do
not prevent Change the verb form
does
people
from purchasing it
, indicates that it is no use to Correct pronoun usage
them
made
sugary Wrong verb form
make
product
more expensive. Take the case of the cigarette tax, which significantly Fix the agreement mistake
products
raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
the
Change the word
its
price
of it. As a result
, there is no influence on smoking lovers, who have regarded cigarette
as Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
the
best friends. The feasibility of Change the word
their
policy
is Correct article usage
the policy
Correct your spelling
quite
quiet
low.
Correct your spelling
quite
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that higher
Correct article usage
the higher
price
of sugary Fix the agreement mistake
prices
products
can discourage people
to consume sugar
, preventing from
many Change preposition
apply
health
diseases. The action will benefit each person. Ironically, the manufacturers and its
employees suffer pain Correct pronoun usage
their
from
Change preposition
as
the
result of Correct article usage
a
high
Add an article
the high
price
of sugary
Add an article
the sugary
product
. The rate of employment and local Fix the agreement mistake
products
economic
would have a poor performance Replace the word
economy
then
.
In the nutshell
I maintain that sugary Add a comma
,nutshell
products
should not be made more expensive. Admittedly, just as the saying goes, as long as the reason of man continues fallible
, different opinions will be formed, and some Change preposition
to fallible
people
may oppose me. However
I believe they will compromise after being exposed to my article.Add a comma
,However
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.