In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

from many regions are moving away from their

friends

Use synonyms

and their families in order to find a job. Despite having both merits and demerits,

this

Linking Words

trend has become more familiar in the modern era. In my opinion, I find

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

more practical and

this

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essay will describe some of the advantages in favour of the trend of migrating to other regions rather than staying at home. To support my view, I strongly believe that it is important for a person to get himself out of

the

Change the word

his

show examples

comfort zone if he has to shine in his

life

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This

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is the fact that you can not expect yourself to succeed in your

life

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without breaking the shackles of comfort. In fact, moving to a different region helps a man to get enough exposure to the real world which is not possible by staying with family or

friends

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For instance

Linking Words

, a person who is far from his family and

friends

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tends to become more responsible as he has some concerns regarding his family

life

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Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

practice

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can help

people

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to prepare themselves for some extreme situations which they have to deal with. For

this

Linking Words

, they are always attentive to their work and somehow they can manage themselves to cope with every difficulty.

Although

Linking Words

staying at home with families and

friends

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can bring some advantages to the

people

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like living a peaceful

life

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or having enough support, the main disadvantage of

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

is that they are not aware of the real world as they have no experience of facing it at all.

For example

Linking Words

, a family guy tends to become more timid and shy which has a negative impact on his development of moralities and problem-solving capabilities.

Nevertheless

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, sometimes

friends

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can be a drawback to developing self-confidence. In Conclusion, I totally agree with the notion that

people

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have to move away to get a job to boost enough self-confidence and strong moralities inside them as the advantages of

this

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practice

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are

higher

Correct word choice

greater

show examples

than the drawbacks it has.

jisan.path1506605Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples to enhance your argument. For instance, mention real-world instances or data that illustrate your points.

task achievement

Consider clarifying the main points a bit further to strengthen the overall response. Use a more interactive language where appropriate.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transition between paragraphs to maintain coherence. A more detailed linkage between some ideas could enhance understanding.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader navigate your ideas easily.

task achievement

The arguments are clearly laid out, and your opinion is presented concisely.

coherence cohesion

Good use of language to express ideas, which makes your essay engaging and easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that education is a fundamental right and plays a crucial role in the development of individuals and societies. Discuss the importance of education and the factors that contribute to a successful education system.

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, While others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.