In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays,
people
from many regions are moving away from their friends
and their families in order to find a job. Despite having both merits and demerits, this
trend has become more familiar in the modern era. In my opinion, I find this
practice
more practical and this
essay will describe some of the advantages in favour of the trend of migrating to other regions rather than staying at home.
To support my view, I strongly believe that it is important for a person to get himself out of the
comfort zone if he has to shine in his Change the word
his
life
. This
is the fact that you can not expect yourself to succeed in your life
without breaking the shackles of comfort. In fact, moving to a different region helps a man to get enough exposure to the real world which is not possible by staying with family or friends
. For instance
, a person who is far from his family and friends
tends to become more responsible as he has some concerns regarding his family life
. Also
, this
practice
can help people
to prepare themselves for some extreme situations which they have to deal with. For this
, they are always attentive to their work and somehow they can manage themselves to cope with every difficulty.
Although
staying at home with families and friends
can bring some advantages to the people
like living a peaceful life
or having enough support, the main disadvantage of this
practice
is that they are not aware of the real world as they have no experience of facing it at all. For example
, a family guy tends to become more timid and shy which has a negative impact on his development of moralities and problem-solving capabilities. Nevertheless
, sometimes friends
can be a drawback to developing self-confidence.
In Conclusion, I totally agree with the notion that people
have to move away to get a job to boost enough self-confidence and strong moralities inside them as the advantages of this
practice
are higher
than the drawbacks it has.Correct word choice
greater
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on
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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to enhance your argument. For instance, mention real-world instances or data that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Consider clarifying the main points a bit further to strengthen the overall response. Use a more interactive language where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transition between paragraphs to maintain coherence. A more detailed linkage between some ideas could enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader navigate your ideas easily.
task achievement
The arguments are clearly laid out, and your opinion is presented concisely.
coherence cohesion
Good use of language to express ideas, which makes your essay engaging and easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite