Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

It is a common phenomenon that younger generations tend to overuse their smartphones. I think the reason behind

this

Linking Words

case is related to the improvements in technology.

This

Linking Words

essay will demonstrate the necessity of its usage followed by an analysis of the negative impact on their lives.

Body paragraph 1

The main reason for

this

Linking Words

case is everything is connected to smart devices which are used not only for communication but

also

Linking Words

for educational purposes.

For example

Linking Words

, during the COVID-19 pandemic, pupils were urged to isolate themselves from communities and use phones in order to study

as well as

Linking Words

communicate with each other. Since they were no longer able to meet in person at that time, overconsumption became undeniable and

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, the hours they spent online have skyrocketed.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it has become an essential tool for communication

due to

Linking Words

the development of social media.

Body paragraph 2

Even though smartphones give us endless possibilities, it has several bad effects on youths. First of all, being online isolates them from their loved ones,

such

Linking Words

as parents and siblings, and affects the quality of their relationships.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it encourages them to prefer hanging out with friends online, since it is easier and quicker than meeting physically.

Secondly

Linking Words

, strangers with whom teenagers chat online are not always trustworthy, which can lead to a dangerous situation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, taking a lack of real connection and the uncertainty of online chatting into consideration, I would say that it has negative results.

Conclusion

In conclusion, some children's usage of smart devices is out of line, which is often associated with the modern advancement of technology.

However

Linking Words

, these improvements help us during harsh events, especially pandemics, depending on mobile phones is clearly negative for their well-being.

mongoliatg

Oct 19, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more engaging and comprehensive. Your main points need further development and support.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay structure is generally logical, but your main points need more support and development to strengthen the coherence of your essay. Work on providing stronger linkages between your sentences and paragraphs.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter tell them when you will be arriving and leaving explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Dear Sir, I am writing to make a reservation at your hotel over the course of the weekend.We are travelling as a family of four, Myself, my wife and my two children will be coming on this trip.
6
band
Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation?
In today’s rapidly changing world, the migration of young people from the countryside to cities has become a subject of heated debate. While some people argue that this trend contributes to urban development and innovation, others contend that it leaves rural areas deprived of energy and vital resources, resulting in serious socio-economic problems. I firmly believe that this trend poses significant challenges because of the resulting labor shortages and diminished community support in rural areas.
7
band
Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Thanks to advanced digital technology, many people can get access to plenty of elements of producing movies and thus make a complete film. I think this kind of condition establishes an advantaged environment for various creators and I believe it will bring about a positive development in the future.
7.5
band
Write a letter to the transport officer about a problem with transportation system in your area please say Describe the situation you are facing Why do you consider it a problem? What changes would you like to recommend?
My name is Nishi Prajapati from Brampton Canada. I am writing this letter to apprise you of a problem with the transport system, which is causing issues to not only the students commuting but especially the seniors as well. And I request you to look into this matter and do something to mitigate the problem as early as possible.
6
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a public debate that the working hours for workers need to be reduced in order that labours would have a better relaxing time at weekends. From my perspective, i completely agree that a couple more longer weekends would be highly beneficial.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation?

Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Write a letter to the transport officer about a problem with transportation system in your area please say Describe the situation you are facing Why do you consider it a problem? What changes would you like to recommend?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.