IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, many
people
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 believe that communication develops through social
media
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.
while
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 others think that social
media
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 encourages
people
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 not to socialite. In my perspective, the Internet with different apps makes contact with each other easier. In the present era,
people
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 are travelling around the world reason of work or study and the internet keeps them in contact with their friends and families, even if we were far away long distances. Social
media
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 permits us an opportunity to contact each other anywhere and anytime with high-quality apps
such
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 as Snap Chat, WhatsApp and Telegram.
For example
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, students who travel to continue their education away from their families
,
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apply
show examples
 can connect with families in faster and easier ways through social
media
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.
Additionally
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, we can create groups to communicate with large numbers of
people
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 who share the same interests and goals, despite being from different countries and cultures. And, now communication become faster
instead
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 of the old method, like paper letters, which would take days and months to be received by the person. And the situation evolved into multi-
media
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 messages.
such
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 as recording messages, Videos and images. Which makes messages clearer and smoother.
For instance
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, the teacher explains lessons via Zoom using a video slideshow to illustrate points to students. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I see that the internet and social networking with various applications have made it easier for
people
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 to communicate with each other.

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Task Response
Consider providing more balanced arguments by discussing the opposing view in a bit more detail, which will demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking phrases to enhance cohesion, and make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that contributes to your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a more detailed introduction that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and avoid jumping straight into reasons without setting up the context or acknowledging the opposing view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps anchor your argument.
Task Response
You provided specific examples, such as students using social media to stay connected while studying abroad, which effectively supports your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • vast distances
  • maintaining relationships
  • professional connections
  • face-to-face meetings
  • in-person communication skills
  • local friendships
  • social isolation
  • community events
  • niche interests
  • like-minded people
  • virtual relationships
  • emotional connection
  • feelings of loneliness
  • superficial friendships
  • overly reliant
  • real-world relationships
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