Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

The

screentime

Correct your spelling

screen time

show examples

smartphones

by teenagers

are

Change the verb form

show examples

on the rise. There are several reasons accounting for

this

phenomenon. From my perspective, dependence on

smartphones

will exert negative impacts on

children

Firstly

children

are vulnerable to social networking on

smartphones

. Youngsters easily become addicted to social media, including Facebook or Twitter. They are indulged in using these platforms for interacting with their friends for several hours daily.

Secondly

children

might develop habits of playing

games

smartphones

. There are a majority of video

games

targeting

Wrong verb form

target

show examples

children

, which will distract them from classes and extra-curricular activities.

Furthermore

, another main reason that school

children

contribute longer

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

of time on their

smartphones

is that they are required to complete assignments required by their teachers. As a powerful gadget,

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

show examples

has been included in classroom teaching and

submission

Correct article usage

the submission

show examples

of homework after school.

Smartphones

might damage

children

’s eyesight if they spend too much

screentime

Correct your spelling

screen time

show examples

Additionally

, it will lead to a sedentary lifestyle if

children

have

few

Correct quantifier usage

little

show examples

time

performing

Change the verb form

to perform

show examples

outdoor physical activities.

Consequently

children

will more likely to suffer from metabolic diseases including diabetes and hypertension even

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show examples

a young age.

Moreover

, some

children

avoid real-life interactions with peers, for they only use social networking to communicate with others. Lack

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show examples

face-to-face communication will not hone their social skills. I have to concede that

smartphones

do bring some positive

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

children

. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a wide range of educational apps and videos available on

smartphones

, which are beneficial to

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of language and maths skills of students. In conclusion,

attractions

Correct article usage

the attractions

show examples

of social networking,

games

and requirement from teachers make

children

become increasingly dependent on

smartphones

. Without proper guidance, students will become addicted to

games

or social networking, and

smartphones

might be detrimental to their health and development.

Submitted by 1123747551 on Wed Oct 19 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

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Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?