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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

#people #school #students #money #life #skill #argument
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There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether all students should be taught how to manage
money
. Some people assert that it is a vital life skill, whereas many others argue that there is no specific need in teaching children financial intelligence at
such
 a young age. I tend to believe that both points of view have the truth in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that
money
 management skill teaches the basics of living. There is no denying that financial literacy provides loads of knowledge regarding not only
money
-saving
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 prioritizing one’s needs. The crucial issue among modern humankind living in a consumption era is the desire to purchase a great deal of not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
 necessity items. Above discussed problem leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack of responsibility and creates a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of inconveniences in
a
Remove the article
apply
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household life. The other point worth mentioning is that through learning the basis of finances a child gains knowledge in other spheres.
For instance
,
money
 management understanding provides
further
 comprehension
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 mathematics, developing a more critical way of thinking.
In contrast
, other individuals may claim that children’s minds are not developed enough to comprehend
such
 complex information concerning finances. At the beginning of going to
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 a kid is put in a stressful position having to learn and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be successful in a newly discovered field. The amount of pressure overwhelms a child, so it would be pretty complicated to add a new area where an individual should
pursue
Correct pronoun usage
itpursue
show examples
. On the basis of the above discussion, I would assert that it is quite important to explain to students the fundamental things about
money
 management, as it will help them in future,
however
 it may be somewhat complicated for them to perceive.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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