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Band 5

Many peole think that it is important to go to university while others prefer to start work without getting a universty education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#peole #university #work #universty #education
Nowadays, education is the most popular
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of knowledge that the majority perceives. Some people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is
important
Add an article
an important
the important
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university
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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 do not. I believe that
university
 is usually more productive.
Firstly
, after graduating
school
Change preposition
from school
show examples
, most teenagers attempt to apply to higher education in order to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not stay neutral.
In addition
, a
university
 education
guarantee
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guarantees
show examples
 a successful career and
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future.
For instance
, if
you
Add a verb
areyou
wereyou
show examples
 good at school and after that, you pass an exam
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
. Your role in the future is bright.
Finally
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of youngsters prefer to learn
such
kind
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kinds
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 of skills and stay
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
. They do not need to hear several years
academic
Change preposition
of academic
show examples
 lexicon that
provide
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provides
show examples
educational
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by educational
show examples
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
.
For example
, if you want to effort some restaurant or if you wish to build your business. Why waste time on the institute
.
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?
show examples
On the other hand
, it is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 opportunity to find work and feel comfortable
of
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with
show examples
 them. If you have a job, it is a chance to earn money more and be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
Replace the word
financially
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 independent. There is no need to study at
Add an article
an
the
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educational institution to
industry
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the industry
show examples
 as a waiter, cleaner or clerk. Because these types of jobs do not require any ability
instead
Correct word choice
but instead
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
good personal skills.
Furthermore
, many people who have
a
Change the word
their
show examples
 own business
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should not have a
university
 degree. It shows
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 is usually based
one's
Change preposition
on one's
show examples
 social skills and real experience rather than
theoretical
Correct article usage
the theoretical
show examples
 knowledge that we gain at
university
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to say
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have good qualifications it is one of the important things that no one can take away from
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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