IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Computer are been used more and more. some people say this is a positive trend while others argue this will lead to a negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#computer #people #trend #consequences
Many
people
 claim that the
use
 of
computers
 is beneficial, but there is
also
 some folk contrast with
this
. From my perspective,
computers
 and social technologies are advantageous, but they can
also
 cause damage as well.
This
 essay will show
both
 views of the argument and
also
 provide my own though about them. Nowadays, social technologies are greatly more advanced than before; Due to
this
, innovations
such
 as mobile phones and
computers
 are more affordable and more convenient to
use
. Because of
this
, many individuals consider them
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a part of their life. Using computer not only help
people
 search for
information
 and entertainment,
such
 as videos and artwork
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can help them work more effectively and have less stress. They
also
 help
people
 to contact each other easier and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
comfortable.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
use
 of
computers
 brings a lot of advantages, they
also
 lead to many dangerous things.
For example
,
computers
 are sure a good
information
 provider;
however
, some of the
information
 they provided is harmful or can lead to some inappropriate activities;
For instance
, sensitive and sexual content. Some
people
use
computers
 to post and share about their life without carefulness, which could lead to problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their private
information
. Some
people
 have already addicted to online content; Take online games
for example
. Individuals who
use
computers
 more than they should are going to face many health problems and a lack of face-to-face social activities. To be concluded, In my point of view, the
use
 of a computer is
both
 a good trend but ones has to make sure one doesn't overuse it. Consideration of
both
 perspectives shows that the effect of
use
 is up to the usage of each person.
Computers
 can be
both
 beneficial and harmful.
Submitted by Krapaom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: