IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Criminality rates have been escalating in urban areas. What are the reasons? What solutions could be implemented?

#criminality #rates #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Criminality is a big problem in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 , because of more population than in remote
areas
Use synonyms
. It is very easy for
areas
Use synonyms
 with a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 to commit
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 as it takes longer for authorities to
finally
Linking Words
 make arrests,
for instance
Linking Words
 , there are approximately 2 million
people
Use synonyms
 in Limpopo's remote
areas
Use synonyms
 many of them know each other in their own communities which make it very difficult for the members of the community to commit any
crime
Use synonyms
 unlike in the Limpopo urban area with approximately 4 million citizens. Another reason is urban
areas
Use synonyms
 are where
people
Use synonyms
 come to work and earn money to take care of families which is why it is a target area for criminals.They rob
people
Use synonyms
 of their earnings and material possessions,
Also
Linking Words
 in Urban
Use synonyms
areas
Add a comma
,areas
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 try to make ends meet and sometimes fail ,
however
Linking Words
, they become victims of drugs
hence
Linking Words
 the town
areas
Use synonyms
 result in a rise of too many drugs and drug dealers.Lack of jobs and poverty is other reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 turn to criminality, in a well-functioning nation with less unemployment rate the public will not resort to
crime
Use synonyms
. For ,example Switzerland is a very well-governed country with fewer unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 ,crowds leave cars unlocked and unattended and no one care to highjack cars because the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 can actually afford a decent life in that country. In my conclusion ,the politicians and ruling parties play a huge part in avoiding crimes in a nation, a well-governed country with less poverty, and no corruption and looting of public funds is a solution to
crime
Use synonyms
 problems.
Submitted by tsungaimukozho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: