Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals think that financial literacy lessons have to be studied at school. I completely agree with

this

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statement

due to

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the reasons

such

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as increased awareness from the younger ages of pupils. Schools are the key reason for the development of an individual's base, and the start of the finance lectures could greatly influence the future outlook of children preventing disorientation and mismanagement of money when they become students and live by themselves.

This

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means that students, who will have a poor level of literacy, will not be able to spend their capital in a proper way.

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, when some Ph.D.-level professors, wrote about the effectiveness of the improvement of knowledge of finances in their articles, evidenced by comparing the uniqueness of individuals in their future lives by taking into account literacy in the sphere of money.

Moreover

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although

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, the seminars about ruling funds could be complicated for young kids, in the majority of situations, they begin to invest cash in a stock market. Because their comprehension of finances allows them to open a diversified portfolio in order to obtain dividends,

therefore

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, lessons about the economy could give great incentives to the younger generation.

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, around 20 per cent of pupils from Eastern Europe started allocating funds to the stock market by purchasing

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activities

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before the age of eighteen, after classes in finance. In conclusion,

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society does not understand the lucrativeness of management subjects, proofs of that were written in

this

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essay, which accounted for its useful part at the time when they had to reside by themselves or earn money from the stock.

zhomartSat Aug 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to provide a clearer logical flow between ideas within each paragraph to ensure coherence throughout the essay.

task achievement

Use more specific examples or studies to support your main points, which could make your arguments more compelling.

task achievement

Pay attention to complex sentence structures and ensure that all parts of your sentences are clear and precise.

task achievement

Your essay presents a complete response to the task, with clear main ideas and relevant examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully included an introduction and a conclusion that summarize your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported and generally clearly explained, which strengthens the argument.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings and investment
financial responsibility
school curriculum
mathematics integration
social studies
debt prevention
credit score
wise financial decisions
parental responsibility
structured education
real-world experiences
internships
personal finance

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