Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut-down the rate of committing crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

Advanced

technology

has made it possible to curb and reduce the crime rate believed by many individuals. I firmly agree with the given mandate

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

two main reasons : the installation of surveillance cameras in more prone areas and the availability of modern methods to utilise the money. Predominately, cutting-edge

technology

could fix the CCTVs in areas where crime scenes are more likely to happen since

this

gadget will help to detect the wrongdoings in a few seconds and police can take action immediately. Cyber cell,

for example

, captures the victims with

help

Correct article usage

the help

show examples

of CCTVs which show them uncertainty in advance.

This

would be a lesson for criminals which keeps them away from doing illegal activities.

Moreover

, some software which does not provide access to personal information could be installed by people to provide security to them.

Therefore

this

equipment aids in minimizing the rate of crime by providing more security. Apart from cameras,

technology

has made it easy to go people cashless since bank accounts are linked to their personal mobile numbers and they have to go through an authenticated process before dealing with cash.

In other words

, the masses use plastic money these days

such

as credit cards, debit cards, Paytm and UPI software which only allows the utilization of finances after sending a one-time password.

Due to

this

process, folks depend on online transactions,

consequently

which reduces

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

the chances of robbery which can lead to murders and other offences.

Thus

, online transactions which are only possible

due to

the development of

technology

, help to stop and cut down the figures of criminal activities. In conclusion, advanced

technology

could prevent and

deplete

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the offence rate not only by the application of surveillance cameras but

also

provide

Wrong verb form

by providing

show examples

digital platforms to individuals to handle their private cash.

Submitted by immysandhu94 on Thu Oct 20 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the examples provided are relevant and specific to the topic. Organize the ideas in a clear and coherent manner, with logical progression from one point to the next.

task achievement

Provide more comprehensive and specific analysis of how advanced technology can prevent and reduce crime. Ensure that every point is directly related to the topic and supports the stance taken in the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut-down the rate of committing crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore,sport lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments.

A.I will soon replace teachers in the classrooms. Do you agree with this statement? What is an alternative to traditional face-to-face teaching?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think advantages of social media outweigh the advantages ?