Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.
However
, there are various arguments are
existing regarding holidays. Few folks seem to share that visiting abroad on holiday periods makes it more energetic, but others oppose it by saying that the places in their own country are beneficial. I partially agree with Unnecessary verb
apply
this
notion to a certain extent.
On the one hand, there are a plethora of advantages to going on an international tour. Firstly
, individuals can explore new places which helps them to know the culture and traditions of the locality. Secondly
, if they plan to go to aboard they can get an opportunity to learn a different language by meeting the local population which will be beneficial for their future to find work easily around the globe. For example
, as per Australian government law non-native crowd which are competent in the English language only they can get employment there.
On the other hand
, domestic visitors play a vital role in the growth of the country by contributing to the tourism sector, as a result
, the economy of the country go to
rising. Verb problem
is
Furthermore
, if the tourist attraction will
Verb problem
is
enhance
in the region it will help the community to find job opportunities in their areas, Wrong verb form
enhanced
consequently
, the unemployment rate will decrease which is a global issue at present. To illustrate, a survey report revealed that in India the tourism industry provides 17% of work to the masses on a national level.
To conclude
, an international trip not only helps people to know about different culture and rituals but also
open the scope for searching for job opportunities around the world by learning new vocabulary, at the same time, national visitor help to government by increasing the employment rate in the society which is a global challenge.Submitted by gurmit.150 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the two views being discussed and take care to develop a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points. Additionally, focus on using linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, offering a discussion of both views and a personal opinion. However, the argument lacks depth in places and could benefit from stronger analysis of each view. It would be beneficial to present more specific examples to support the ideas.