Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

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However

Linking Words

, there are various arguments

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

existing regarding holidays. Few folks seem to share that visiting abroad on holiday periods makes it more energetic, but others oppose it by saying that the places in their own country are beneficial. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

notion to a certain extent. On the one hand, there are a plethora of advantages to going on an international tour.

Firstly

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, individuals can explore new places which helps them to know the culture and traditions of the locality.

Secondly

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, if they plan to go to aboard they can get an opportunity to learn a different language by meeting the local population which will be beneficial for their future to find work easily around the globe.

For example

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, as per Australian government law non-native crowd which are competent in the English language only they can get employment there.

On the other hand

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, domestic visitors play a vital role in the growth of the country by contributing to the tourism sector,

as a result

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, the economy of the country

go to

Verb problem

show examples

rising.

Furthermore

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, if the tourist attraction

will

Verb problem

show examples

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

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in the region it will help the community to find job opportunities in their areas,

consequently

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, the unemployment rate will decrease which is a global issue at present. To illustrate, a survey report revealed that in India the tourism industry provides 17% of work to the masses on a national level.

To conclude

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, an international trip not only helps people to know about different culture and rituals but

also

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open the scope for searching for job opportunities around the world by learning new vocabulary, at the same time, national visitor help to government by increasing the employment rate in the society which is a global challenge.

gurmit.150Thu Oct 20 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the two views being discussed and take care to develop a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points. Additionally, focus on using linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences.

Task Achievement

The essay partially addresses the task, offering a discussion of both views and a personal opinion. However, the argument lacks depth in places and could benefit from stronger analysis of each view. It would be beneficial to present more specific examples to support the ideas.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

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