IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Youngsters nowadays are involved in many crimes. What are the causes of this problem? In your opinion, how can we reduce youth crime rates?

#youngsters #crimes #youth #crime #rates
To be honest recent days,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of crimes are
Correct your spelling
committing
commiting
Correct your spelling
committed
 by young
people
 including teenagers. Some would argue that government should use
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
Correct your spelling
average
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 punishment for young
people
however
 another camp would reckon that root of the
Correct your spelling
issue
isse
Correct your spelling
issue
 might be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of attention from relatives.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
essay will discuss how to decrease
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of wrongdoing
with
Change preposition
among
show examples
 adolescents.
To begin
 with,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Correct your spelling
Crucial
Crusial
Correct your spelling
Crucial
 factor to
chose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 path would be getting
divorce
Correct your spelling
divorced
show examples
 family because
root
Add an article
the root
show examples
 of many problems must
be not obtain
Change the verb form
not obtain
show examples
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
 amount of upbringing. Surely extremely relevant development is struggling with
a crimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a crime
crimes
show examples
. One big approach would be
set
Fix the infinitive
to set
show examples
 up new subjects related
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 at school. Thereby, children should understand what is
truthworhy
Correct your spelling
trustworthy
 activity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Educational
Add an article
The educational
show examples
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
 need to draw more attention to
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 fair approach would be
remove
Fix the infinitive
to remove
show examples
 computer games on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children's
desktop
Fix the agreement mistake
desktops
show examples
.
Hence
 teenagers could be more calmed
moreover
 able to have free time for self-development. Nowadays youth
tempted
Add a missing verb
are tempted
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
aggressive
aggersive
Correct article usage
an aggersive
show examples
 style of personality.
In addition
, according
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 BBC news major change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
psychology
Add an article
the psychology
show examples
 of zoomers. Action games could wreak a moral
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
people
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation and
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. Overall If
people
 decide to
significant
Add a missing verb
have significant
show examples
 outcome
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, each citizen
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to unleash
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
show examples
 of new gender. Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 deserve happiness
Submitted by koshernur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: