Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tendency
Correct article usage
The tendency
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to favour uncontrolled nutrition has come embattled over the past decade, following scientists’ booming concern
on
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for
show examples
health.
Discussion
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The discussion
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has centred on whether it
culminate
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culminates
show examples
with banning markets from distributing these products. I am utterly convinced that
this
prohabitation
Correct your spelling
prohibition
is of significance.
This
essay will
firstly
argued
Change the verb form
argue
be argued
show examples
that
this
action is highly likely to raise
life-expectancy
Correct your spelling
life expectancy
show examples
, and
secondly
contend that the result would relieve
children
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental issues. Presumably, most of the detrimental food is processed with unconventional ingredients triggering
unprecedent
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unprecedented
early death while
life-expectancy
Correct your spelling
life expectancy
show examples
is considered
as
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apply
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the permanent priority of any sustainable development,
that is
to say, having perished unhealthy products, people in compliance with official law would choose between healthy ones. Either obesity or diabetes, currently, would be
controlles
Correct your spelling
controlled
controllers
if energy drinks,
for instance
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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had been hampered advertising.
Besides
, hardly could any scientist anticipate its ramifications on genetic mutation depriving people
from
Change the preposition
of
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the right to have long-lasting life.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
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reasons vividly elaborate how adjusting surveillance on selling
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfull
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harmful
goods aligned with
life-expectancy
Correct your spelling
life expectancy
show examples
. Another problem
appear
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appears
show examples
in
children
's mental symptoms.
In other words
, the more they consume untested materials, the more they impose severe anxiety,
defict
Correct your spelling
deficit
hyperactive disorder ,and relentless stress during their growth period.
Although
a bewildering array of food companies take
children
's health for granted, the consequences of selling these goods
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
expected to have deteriorated public health by decade, by the same token, authorities should consider not allowing them to do that by regarding
children
as the
Correct your spelling
backbone
show examples
back bone
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backbone
show examples
of countries.
By contrast
, lucrative turnover in these companies might experience economic
depriviation
Correct your spelling
deprivation
due in part to deflecting in their supply and demand chain;
however
, banning
this
trend is of lots of merits that explicitly overshadow its flaws. Based on the arguments
outline
Wrong verb form
outlined
show examples
above, I want to
reaffairm
Correct your spelling
reaffirm
my position that selling unhealthy food and drink should be forbidden. Not only could
this
action clear the path for
long
Add an article
a long
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and fruitful life, but
also
would hinder
children
to be raised
undermine
Wrong verb form
undermined
show examples
and unstabilized mentally.
Submitted by mohammad_rasfijani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulations
  • accountability
  • retailers
  • public health
  • consumer choice
  • diet
  • banning
  • health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • economic impact
  • job losses
  • small businesses
  • complexity
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • quantity consumed
  • individual health conditions
What to do next:
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