Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that
zoos
have plenty of advantages, whilst others disagree and think
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
show examples
no benefits.
Although
zoos
can be
prisoner
Add an article
a prisoner
show examples
for
animals
, I firmly believe that
zoos
are advantageous as it provides educational knowledge and entertains
people
.
This
essay will not only shed light on both perceptions but
also
my point of view will be elaborated in the conclusion.
To begin
with, many
people
believe that
zoos
have no functional purposes but it is animal cruelty.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is because
animals
are kept alone in small areas.
This
affects their mental and physical health. To elucidate
further
, if
animals
are isolated in congested
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, it results in depression and obesity as they
longer
Rephrase
no longer
show examples
hunt for food.
For instance
, a recent study held by a zoologist has shown that elephants are very sensitive
animals
and they can die because of loneliness.
Therefore
, giant elephants are prohibited in
zoos
in China and in many other countries.
On the other hand
,
zoos
play a vital role in entertaining
people
. It is
due to
the fact many
animals
are thought to act funny so that they can entertain children.
Moreover
, it serves as a place to educate
people
about animal species and their characteristics.
This
is because many
zoos
have tour guides who give visitors
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
information about their habitats and their unique traits.
Along with
this
,
people
can see
animals
and even touch them if they are not dangerous.
For example
, in a study from 2010, Princeton University researchers found that
zoos
are a great place to increase
people
's knowledge about different
animals
.
As a consequence
, the government are building new
zoos
. In conclusion,
according to
my perspective,
zoos
are very important for
people
's intellectual development.
However
,
zoos
should make sure to keep check on every animal to maintain their fitness and
mentally healthy
Replace the word
mental health
show examples
.
Submitted by FATYMALIK71 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and coherence. It is important to clearly state the purpose of the essay and provide a balanced overview of both views.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in discussing both views. It is important to provide a more balanced and detailed discussion of both perspectives and support your opinion with strong arguments and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • conservation
  • habitat
  • endangered species
  • captive breeding
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • animal welfare
  • educational outreach
  • natural environment
  • ethical dilemma
  • ecotourism
  • species preservation
  • behavioral enrichment
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