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Band 5.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
Individually people believe that increasing the number of
sports
 complexes would help to enhance society's
health
, while others feel these facilities could not solve
health
 problems and it only small affect their
life
 because people's behaviours are required for
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
.
This
 essay will argue that
sports
 complexes are the best answer and
education
Correct word choice
that education
show examples
 is a more suitable option. I will discuss both sides of the essay. To commence with, implementing these amenities would aid
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 improvement in human
health
, but unhealthy behaviours could not control prolong illness. These facilities provide short-term results only.
For instance
, according to a study, that 60% of women and men have been
Correct your spelling
paired
painted
paided
Correct your spelling
paid
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 gym sessions but
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to continue their monthly sessions of exercises in
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 because of their busy schedules, whereby they become lazy. increasing
sports
 amenities could not solve these issues because human behaviours are mainly the cause of
health
 problems.
Therefore
,
health
 education is the only option for mitigating these things because promoting
health
 awareness in primary students would help to enhance the long-term effect in their
life
, that way, they will share their knowledge with their parents and they would implement it and continue it at the end of their
life
 because they incline to make morbid meals and reduce negative aspects in their
life
.
As a result
, they would decrease adverse consequences in their body.
For example
, according to a newspaper, some schools have prohibited fast foods at school canteens and
awareness
Add a missing verb
have awareness
show examples
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 foods detrimental effects. that way, they saw some improvement in their student's mental and physical
health
. In conclusion, after a thorough analysis of the topic,
sports
 complexes could help to maintain people's
health
.
However
, the right method of behaviour would aid to stimulate a long-term healthy
life
 because education is a crucial part its society.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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