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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
There is a belief that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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food
aid
 can solve
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
, while some humans consider that
education
 should be more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
. Personally, I believe, educating people would help solve their financial imbalances to purchase daily needs.
This
 essay will examine both sides. On the
one
 hand,
food
aid
 is not efficient and productive for the environment. The process of
food
aid
 is tough. After all, these deals benefit only developed and prosperous
countries
, as well as
the
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apply
show examples
some wealthy individuals. The states which suffer detrimental effects because of a lack of
food
aid
 are most
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
.
Moreover
,
one
 of the lead issues is the transportation of
food
, along with getting it in superb condition.
For example
, Africa suffers the most from hunger in our world, but despite that, no
one
 is helping Africa since
food
 support is extremely expensive.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 is the best solution for
countries
 which endure
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hunger. A lot of developed states have excellent
education
 programs along with enormously educated people.
As a result
, in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
countries
 do not exist problems with unemployment and
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
.
For instance
, in
Germany
Add a comma
,Germany
show examples
 almost 94 per cent of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 has high
education
.
Furthermore
, Germany itself assists other
countries
 that
plagued
Add a missing verb
are plagued
show examples
 by
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
 shortages.
In addition
,
well-educated
Correct article usage
a well-educated
show examples
 country or society is the
one
 most likely to offer a helping hand to other people since they are well knowledged about global issues In conclusion,
food
aid
 can be supportive in some situations, but knowledge has more pros than cons.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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