Advertisments of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree.

#advertisments #snacks #toys #impact #children #parents #advertisement

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this

present world, the promotion of

snacks

and

toys

has a huge influence on families.

Therefore

this

action should not be allowed by the authority. I completely agree with

this

idea: because children might get unhealthy and fat by consuming junk food, and some kinds of

toys

could affect scion and their attitudes.

Firstly

, recent studies show that consuming unhealthy

snacks

might cause obesity in children.

For example

, one of the prospective studies that worked on an age group between 3 and 5 years old illustrates a high correlation between the amount of chocolate consumed and obesity rates.

Although

chocolate is categorized as healthy food,

this

result is very alarming. So,

this

will prove to us how

snacks

can be perilous even if they seem harmless.

Secondly

, the marketing strategies of big companies have enlarged their portfolio of barbaric

toys

day by day.

As a result

of that, the more

daughter

Fix the agreement mistake

daughters

show examples

or sons have these

toys

, the more fights and injury rates are increasing on the playgrounds.

For instance

, there was only a single type of soldier and sword on toyshops’ shelves ten years ago, now there are plenty of them and

additionally

bombs, warriors, tanks, and guns. Sadly, kids start fighting as soon as they get them in the shops.

Consequently

, these kinds of issues may corrupt the offspring’s character and improvement. To summarize, the possibility of fatness and illness may rise by consuming grub, and dangerous types of

toys

also

may have a bad influence on kids. Because of

this

it is clear that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

or authorities have to restrict advertisements about

toys

and grub. It is predicted that

snacks

can be risky and children’s growth may be affected by

toys

simply.

Submitted by dctr_green_east on Fri Oct 21 2022

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extended

Task Response: The essay addresses the given topic but does not provide a strong, focused argument. The response lacks depth and could benefit from providing a more detailed analysis of the impact of snack and toy advertisements on children and parents.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas and supporting examples could be more cohesive, with stronger connections between the main points and the overall argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Advertisments of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In order to reduce crime,we need ti attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. Itbis not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.