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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #lifestyle
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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
people
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 are all
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 interested in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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lifestyle
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, But there has many different
Correct your spelling
opinions
opiniont
Correct your spelling
opinions
 about
this
Linking Words
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
it’s
Use synonyms
 very difficult for
people
Use synonyms
 to have a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 but others don’t agree about
this
Linking Words
. In my opinion,
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it’s depends
Change the verb form
it depends
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 on
people
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’s
self-control
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. On the one hand. In today’s daily life, there are many young
people
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 laying on the sofa, eating the
junkfood
Correct your spelling
junk food
 and watching TV or playing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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games. They may
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stayed
stay
staied
Correct your spelling
stay
 up late and wake up at
next
Linking Words
 day’s afternoon.
It’s
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 very bad right
.
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?
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 But for
this
Linking Words
 kind of
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people
Add a comma
,people
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it’s
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 very difficult for them to
change
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 their
lifestyle
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. Because they
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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more and more lazy
Replace the words
lazier and lazier
lazier
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 when they keep
this
Linking Words
 kind of
lifestyle
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 for a long
time
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. But
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
for
Correct word choice
if
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 the
Correct your spelling
people
prople
Correct your spelling
people
really
Correct pronoun usage
who really
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 want to
change
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 their
lifestyle
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, it may become easy. You just need to
change
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 junk food into vegetables and fruits. Go to bed at 11:00 o’clock
wake
Correct word choice
and wake
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 up at 8:00 o’clock. Eat every meels at the basic
time
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. Don’t play your phone all the
time
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, take a walk or read a book to getting rest. So, question is come up. why must the
people
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 who have strong
self-control
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 or the
people
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 really want to
change
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. Because even though the steps is very easy but
it’s
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 has large different between the healthy
lifestyle
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 and the
lifestyle
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 you used to have. Some
people
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 may give up because they can’t keep it for a long
time
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. They may think vegetable and fruits are not as good as taste of hamburger; They may think reading books is not as interested as watching TV.
However
Linking Words
, the
people
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 who has strong
self-control
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 may just do it step by step
then
Linking Words
 they become success (they have a good living habits). So, all in all, I think
it’s
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 all depend on yourself. All
people
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 will make an effort when they want to
change
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 their living habits. But for the
people
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 who always give up
it’s
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 sure be difficult for them. But for the
people
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 with strong
self-control
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 it will be more more easy.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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