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Band 6.5

Some people think that we should divide students based on their academic ability, while others think we should educate all students together. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #ability
Living in a fast-paced environment keeps
people
 busier, it leads them to a lesser time for themselves to take a break and enjoy some hobbies.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons and effects of every individual and their impact on our society.
To begin
 with,
people
 nowadays want to earn as much as possible to help their
families
. To be a great provider, the head of the family should work for long hours to sustain their lifestyle. Resulting in fewer leisure activities with their kids to bond or travel somewhere.
For instance
, it is part of every Filipino culture to extend their helping hands to the needy among their family members. To give everything, the provider needs to exert more time in working rather than enjoying life for a while. Meanwhile, it is common for young professionals to work hard to save money and buy their wants
such
 as new gadgets, and expensive bags or clothes to show off with their peers.
For example
, the working class were obsessed with their dreams and reach the point that they already neglect to enjoy life even for a day.
However
,
people
 had lesser hobbies are prone to depression and burnout at work. It has
also
 detrimental effects on the health and mental status of every individual. It has a great impact on our society in which there are more cases of
a dysfunctional
Correct the article-noun agreement
dysfunctional families
a dysfunctional family
show examples
families
 due to lesser bonding and communication among their
families
. In conclusion,
people
 nowadays are busy meeting the needs of their
families
 and living extravagantly which leads to a fewer time for their hobbies.
This
 has bad effects on the health and mental status of every individual.
Submitted by GRIMZ_21JAHA on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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