Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #move #countries #home #country

Recently, some people think that it is better to live in other

countries

after they retire,

however

, other people think that it is better to live in their

home

country after they retire. First of all, the good thing

to live

Change preposition

about living

show examples

in another country after they quit their

jobs

is that, they do not have any more

jobs

, so they can able to relax abroad for a long day.

This

means that their schedule is not going to be restricted because of the job which can make them happy and have a good time with their husband or wife. After they end their

jobs

, they can go abroad for trips with family , which they could not do when they were working before so that they can learn new things or have fun abroad. Second of all, the good thing about living in their

home

countries

after they end their

jobs

is that, they can see their family

such

as their son or grandson anytime they want which will be grateful for them too. In their

home

countries

, they can relax by going somewhere that they have been or the place where they were born and live so that they can remember what they have done before

also

when they go to new

countries

when they become older it will be many stimulations in other

countries

, which might be bad things for their health.

To sum up

, some communities think that moving to other

countries

when they retire is better but some other communities think that it is better to stay in their

home

town.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Mon Jul 01 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Consider crafting a more engaging introduction, and work on a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main arguments.

logical structure

Organize your paragraphs more logically, perhaps by clearly separating the points for each view. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to enhance coherence.

relevant specific examples

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will not only strengthen your arguments but also fulfill the task requirements more thoroughly.

complete response

You have addressed both views which is essential for this type of essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your essay contains clear ideas and logical reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In some areas of the US, a "curfew" is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a partcular time at night unless they are accompained by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienece.

People have different jo exception for jobs. Some people prefer to do same job for same company, whereas other prefer to change jobs frequently. Write advantages and disadvantages of each view point.