In some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are less happy. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people

It is difficult not to witness a number of wealthy teenagers in some countries. While the evolution of the

world

made young individuals live in a better

world

allowing them to be more secure and healthier,

however

, their satisfaction

Change preposition

with

show examples

life

has decreased compared to the past.

This

essay will prevent the culprits of

this

phenomenon and suggest measures to mitigate the problems. In

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

world

, teenagers are forced to learn and be loaded with numerous skills and knowledge to land a

good

Change the adjective

well

show examples

paid job. Given that the

world

is getting more competitive among people, young generations are going through hectic

life

even before becoming an adult to get a

lucrutive

Correct your spelling

lucrative

job which eventually

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

them to burnt out

quickely

Correct your spelling

quickly

. To tackle

this

issue, taking a gap year for young individuals should become compulsory for them to get some time to ease their stresses.

Thus

all of them will equally have the same amount of time to get a break to think about their future as well as a good chance to balance their

life

In addition

to the

irrevitable

Correct your spelling

irresistible

irritable

inevitable

Correct your spelling

contemporary

contemeporary

Correct your spelling

contemporary

life

trend,

increasing

Add an article

an increasing

show examples

number of young people are becoming dependent. Young individuals who live

under

Change preposition

show examples

a rich family tend to have no concerns either about money or their upcoming future since they will be

heritaged

Correct your spelling

heritage

from their parents.

However

, they cannot live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a happy

life

since they have no ability and knowledge

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

to live against the

world

.To solve

this

matter, the government has to ban the inheritance of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

property which goes to their children among the

Correct your spelling

wealthy

weathly

Correct your spelling

wealthy

public

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and to be utilized

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. When

this

scheme is successfully implemented, the government can not only

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

bridge the

Correct your spelling

gap

show examples

gab

Correct your spelling

gap

show examples

between poverty and

rich

Correct article usage

the rich

show examples

as well as witness the

ascend

Change the form of the verb

ascending

show examples

trend of the average

Correct your spelling

happiness

happyness

Correct your spelling

happiness

among the youth. In conclusion, some countries are packed full of

Correct your spelling

wealthy

Correct article usage

a weathly

show examples

weathly

Correct your spelling

wealthy

young generation and they seem to live an unhappy

life

compared to others.

This

is analysed that it is because of the tough educational level and the significant

Correct your spelling

gap

show examples

gab

Correct your spelling

gap

show examples

between rich and poor,

however

, it is unsurmountable to deal with the problem if the government take immediate action.

Submitted by clara_you on Sat Oct 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Elderly
Accumulated wisdom
Tradition and history
Guidance
Family life
Cultural practices
Innovation
Technological advancement
Economic productivity
Adaptable
Globalized societies
Physical attributes
Labor force
Economic growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
These days, the number of people who are willing to regard teaching as their considering job is decreasing quickly gradually. There are several reasons why youngsters prefer other careers and also a few ways to encourage them to come into teaching profession.
5.5
band
Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the majority part of monopolies are frustrated with an increase in crime rates. Although it would be useful to concentrate more police on the street , it would be more efficient if there were cruel punishments.
5
band
The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this modern world, there is no denying that one of the basic needs of human rights is education. There is a general claim that poor nations should invest their fund in free learning for their people for up to 6 years in order to provide them with some basic life skills such as reading, writing and handling numbers. It is agreed that this should be a good idea for any nation in the world. Analysing the long-term benefits of this investment as well as the economic outcomes that it can bring to any country will prove this.
7
band
In recent years many small shops have closed, because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
With the beginning of the current decade, many local stores have become non-operational because consumers today are more likely to visit supermarkets and shopping complexes to purchase the goods they need and want. In my view, It is a positive trend because these megastores generally fulfil all the requirements for the public under the same roof. Moreover, this essay will dictate the pointers describing the merit sides of the statement.
7
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that it is good to claim a bad situation, like a job with bad conditions or low salary, while others believe that people need to try to make a such situation better.

In some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are less happy. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years many small shops have closed, because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.