New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

As technology keeps developing,

children

have various events to do in their free time. Some experts argued that

this

trend would bring some negative effects on

kids

. But I firmly believe there are more benefits than drawbacks. Admittedly, many modern technologies have entered our life and changed people's lifestyles, especially

children

. In the past,

kids

usually participated a lot of physical activities and played with other peers,

such

as football games, hikes, swimming and so on. Nowadays, computers, mobile phones and the internet have been an essential part of our lives.

As a result

, more and more

kids

are into staying at home and surfing online. Obviously, being sedentary and watching screens which need to keep a posture for a long time every day will harm not only their eyes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but their bones and blood pressure.

However

, in my opinion, the new technology, particularly the internet, is more beneficial for these

children

. The most noticeable advantage is that it makes

kids

more opportunities to contact the entire world, which means they can receive a range of information which was hard to get from school books or parents in the past.

This

knowledge could help them to broaden their views and build a great dream.

Moreover

children

still could improve their awareness of cooperation by playing some computer or phone games together, even if they live in different areas and speak various languages. The internet provides a new way to make friends and experience a diversity of cultures for young people. In conclusion, new technology, or more specifically, the information revolution changed

children

's habits in their leisure time and it is harmful to their bodies and health to some extent. From my perspective, It brings more positive effects on

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

and

life

Correct article usage

the life

show examples

kids

Submitted by shantao2153 on Sat Oct 22 2022

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.Do you think people can be happy without much money?What other factors contribute toward happiness.

Some people like to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others prefer familiar places? Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to visiting new places ?

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.