IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that protecting the environment os the government responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it discuss both views and give your opinion

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The
environment
Use synonyms
 has been devasted by humans at a fast pace over the
last
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 few years. Some people think that fighting
this
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 problem should be an individual responsibility, but, in my opinion,
this
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 should be a
government
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 role for the most part.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and get reasons for
this
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 opinion.
Firstly
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, it is important to say that the individual contribution to protecting nature is relevant. It is needed for everyone to make some little adjusts on
day
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 to
day
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 life to achieve important steps for sustainability.
For example
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, to have a selective garbage collection depends on everyone separating their garbage every
day
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 in each house.
Thus
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, it needs each one to collaborate.
On the other hand
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, almost part of the problem is not caused by individuals, it is caused by big industries and lack of political intervention.
For instance
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, it is not the duty of individuals to combat the devastation of the forests. So, to protect the
environment
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 the
government
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 should take measures to limitate the big industries's exploration of nature and give some incentives for sustainable businesses.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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 the
government
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's role to generate awareness of how and what can normal people do in
day
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 to
day
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 to help with
this
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 subject.
For example
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, could TV campaigns above daily attitudes that each one can do in a
day
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 and the consequences of our acts on
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
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To sum up
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, it is concluded that each one has some role in preventing the
environment
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, but almost part should be the
government
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's responsibility.

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly addresses the question, stating the two views and your own position. Your introduction can be improved for clarity and relevance.
Coherence
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your argument more clearly. This will improve the logical sequence and readability of the essay.
Supporting Points
Develop your main points further with specific examples. Include statistics, facts, or quotations where appropriate to support your arguments.
Conclusion
Work on your concluding paragraph to restate your opinion and the main points of your argument. It should clearly summarize the discussion from the body paragraphs.
Body Paragraph
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details. Your essay body can be improved by better topic sentences and more developed points.
Task Response
In the 'task response' criterion, make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay and your ideas address the task prompt fully. Expand your discussion to cover all parts of the task.
Grammar/Sentence Structure
Make an effort to correct grammatical errors and check sentence structure to increase the accuracy and range of your language.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Sustainability
  • Regulations
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Grassroots movements
  • Public policies
  • Renewable resources
  • Conservation efforts
  • Sustainable practices
What to do next:
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