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Writing Samples
Band 7

Theoretical subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are taught in universities but students prefer more practical subjects such as accounting and computer programming. Some people believe theoretical subjects should be abandoned in universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #mathematics #philosophy #universities #students #computer #people
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In universities, theoretical
subjects
such
 as mathematics and philosophy are taught, but
students
 often prefer more practical and applicable
subjects
 like programming and accounting. Nowadays, some individuals advocate for the abolition of theoretical
subjects
 in universities. In
this
 essay, I will argue against
this
 proposition and elucidate the reasons why.
Firstly
, theoretical
subjects
such
 as philosophy and mathematics cultivate critical thinking and the capacity to analyze intricate problems. These competencies are indispensable in any domain, whether it is business, science, or the humanities.
Furthermore
, theoretical knowledge constitutes the bedrock for scientific research and innovation. Without it, the development of new technologies and the advancement of science would be unattainable.
For instance
, research in quantum physics and advanced mathematics frequently culminates in groundbreaking discoveries and technological advancements that revolutionize our world.
Secondly
, theoretical
subjects
 contribute to personal development and the expansion of
students
' intellectual horizons. Engaging with philosophy,
for instance
, encourages profound reflection on ethical and moral dimensions of professional practice, which is particularly crucial in fields
such
 as medicine, law, and business.
Additionally
, theoretical
subjects
 enable
students
 to synthesize and integrate knowledge across diverse disciplines, fostering an interdisciplinary approach to addressing contemporary challenges.
This
 renders
students
 more adaptable and equipped to navigate the complexities of their professional lives. In conclusion, I dissent from the view that universities should exclusively prioritize practical
subjects
. In my opinion, it is imperative for governments to uphold, safeguard, and cultivate a comprehensive array of
subjects
 to provide a holistic education and avert potential societal and intellectual deficits.
Submitted by otemirov439 on

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, make sure to consistently support your points with specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using more transition words or phrases to create a smoother flow between your ideas. Phrases like 'Moreover', 'Consequently', 'In addition', etc., can help link your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task comprehensively, providing strong arguments for why theoretical subjects should not be abandoned.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs, making it easy to follow your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points.
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