IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Some children spend most of their time on their mobile phones on daily basis, because nowadays technology is so advanced that they can find anything, from video games to field-related studies on their smartphones. I believe that mobiles are putting a bad impact on youngsters compared with a good impact. On the positive side, the smartphone plays a vital role in our lives. It contains several knowledgeable apps and content that children can utilize in their personal lives.
For example
, there are many apps for young ones to improve their communication skills, many games that contain knowledgeable content and children can learn significantly new words or things from it.
However
, I think the mobile phone is a negative development for offspring. Using technology on daily basis put a bad impact on a child's mental and physical health.
For instance
, too much usage of the dial is dangerous for their eyes and brains. As their eyes are sensitive and putting all the focus on phone for hours results in weak eyesight in the early stage of childhood,
similarly
, an obsession with the phone for hours without even taking a break can damage the brain badly.
Moreover
, the scion's stamina is affected as they are losing interest in physical entertainment and prefer playing video games like pubg on their phones. In conclusion,
although
 smartphone has many advantages, I believe heir are addicted to mobiles, which is not good either for their mental or physical health.
Submitted by taqwaaltaf01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: