Some people believe that a vertical city in which people work and live in tall buildings is a good idea. Others say that horizontal living is better. Discuss both views and express your opinion.

The ubiquity of technology and science plays a vital role in building
towers
in
this
era. It has sparked heated controversies that many people claim living and working in high-rise
buildings
is an ideal opinion,
whereas
others believe horizontal life is better. From my perspective, I totally agree with the former. Admittedly, tall
buildings
have a negative impact on our environment which affects human health.
In particular
, a great deal of gas and toxic liquid are released during the construction of
towers
since they require a large number of resources.
Thus
, a significant amount of poisonous gas is emitted into the atmosphere with each tower
that is
constructed.
In addition
, animals cannot survive in a vertical metropolis with so many skyscrapers blocking off the light and direction. So, animals
such
as the bird live freely above the sky but now they will be in a cage for the rest of their lives.
Consequently
, in the dog-eat-dog global market, biodiversity will suffer because of the ambition of people
However
, high-rise
buildings
are a criterion for a country if it is sustainable. To be more precise, without
towers
and
buildings
, a country could not compete with others in the cutthroat world.
As a consequence
, humans should put the vertical
city
over the horizontal
city
in the age of technology and science.
In addition
, workplaces
such
as
buildings
or
towers
give motivation to employees and boost their energy. They are triggered to go to huge offices to find opportunities for promotion which brings great potential to their lives.
As a result
, high-rise
buildings
play a crucial part in society when youngsters take it as a desire for their career paths. A nation's long-term sustainability can be achieved if every individual strives to obtain better employment. In conclusion, even though building
towers
causes negative impacts on the environment, I am of the opinion that humans should prefer a vertical
city
over a horizontal
city
because it generates lasting value for a country.
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task achievement
Your points are generally well-organized and clearly presented. However, it would improve the quality of your essay to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases or linking words. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the question.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured the essay with distinct paragraphs that discuss both views before providing your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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