Many people believe that the government should allocate more funding to the arts, such as music, painting, and theatre. Others argue that this money should be spent on more essential sectors like healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #arts #music #theatre #money #sectors #healthcare #education #infrastructure

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Funding different sectors by the government has become a widely debate issue in recent years. On the one hand, some people think that governmental institutes should spend more money on art and its different sections like music, painting and theatre.

On the other hand

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, other individuals believe that more important sections

such

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as healthcare, education and infrastructure should be our first priority. In

this

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essay, I will demonstrate both points of view and mention which one I agree with.

To begin

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with, some folks in our society argue that officials should provide the entertainment part with more funding. The reason behind

this

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is that they believe that art is an effective way of communication.

Accordingly

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, you can target a specific community in our society to send a powerful message. To give an example, the movie "The Messenger” is one of the greatest films of all time. In

this

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show, it explains how to be independent and wiser.

Moreover

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this

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action movie influences people over time. On the other side, others think that different fields are more beneficial.

Consequently

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, they suggest that political people should spend their budgets on healthcare, education and infrastructure.

For instance

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, building more hospitals or hiring more doctors.

Although

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our country has good medical facilities, the system is significantly slow.

Moreover

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, a lot of patients wait for their surgeries for a long time.

Therefore

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, cash should be spent towards medical institutes.

To sum up

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, there are different thoughts about which sectors should be provided more. In my point of view, I believe that we should fund the more essential sectors. As they with no doubt affect our society in serious aspects.

Submitted by shereenmagdy1993g on Mon Dec 30 2024

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task achievement

Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your arguments for each viewpoint to strengthen your task response score.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the transition between paragraphs to improve coherence, making sure each part of your essay flows smoothly into the next.

task achievement

Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument and gives a well-rounded opinion in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, introducing the topic and summarizing your perspective clearly.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that government should spend on medical facilities whereas other people think that investing on transport is necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.