IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays, there is no need for museums and art galleries anymore. Since everything is accessible through internet. People can find any historic fact there. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons and examples of yours personal knowledge.

#museums #art #galleries #internet #people #fact
Many people claim, that, at
this
 time
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
internet is full of information about
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
, in a consequence many
Correct your spelling
institutions
instytutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 whiches exist to show famous and ancient
exhybitions
Correct your spelling
exhibitions
 are not really needed. I truly believe that many facilities linked with wonderful art or ancient time are necessary to
stays
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 open for viewers. In
this
 essay I am going to shed light on it is advantages.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Add a comma
,internet
show examples
 we can discover
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 fake information. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant, the most popular source of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"Wikipedia" provide
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about many aspects,
nevetheless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
, everyone can add their own facts.
Although
, places like
Add an article
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 or art
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 "can tell" the
true
Replace the word
truth
show examples
.
Secondly
,
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aformentioned
show examples
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 places give
an
Correct pronoun usage
us an
show examples
 opportunity to see as closest as we can an
exhibitons
Correct your spelling
exhibition
exhibitions
,
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 opposed to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 internet where we
are not be
Change the verb form
are not
show examples
 able to see details
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the pictures or videos. 
Thirdly
,
Add an article
an area
the area
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 with historical character always will have
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 place in a tourist's heart. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, plenty of cities earn money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the tourism sector.
On the other hand
, sometimes people can not afford to go
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a journey
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the other end of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, so they have a chance for
virtual
Correct article usage
a virtual
show examples
 tour on
muesum's
Correct your spelling
museum's
 website. In my opinion;
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bases on my experience,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historicial
Correct your spelling
historical
 places bring many treasured aspects into our life. As for me see visiting "The National Gallery" and
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
 by my own eyes Van Gogh's
masterpiece
Fix the agreement mistake
masterpieces
show examples
 was like a dream come true.
Submitted by kornacka.adrianna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: