IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fewer people today visit museums than in past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future.

#people #visit #museums #future
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Museums
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 provide a
platform
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 for
entertainment
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 and knowledge. Few
people
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visit
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museums
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 today as compared to the past. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is the endless
entertainment
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 streams on the internet, and the most viable solution, to attract more visitors is to increase the content of
museums
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 on the online
platform
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. Many
people
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 get entertained by online platforms more than by
museums
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.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that, in the days before the internet,
people
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 used to
visit
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 historical places for their
entertainment
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, when they had nothing else to do. But now
instead
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 of getting ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
bored they have endless movies and
entertainment
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 shows available online to keep them entertained.
For example
Linking Words
, the shows like Game of Thrones on Netflix are a source of fun activity when bored. In short, because
people
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 have another source of
entertainment
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 with them, they have reduced visiting
museums
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. A long-term solution to
this
Linking Words
 predicament is to share the online presence of
museums
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 on social websites. To be clear, the content related to
museums
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 on the social media
platform
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 would attract
people
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 who use the internet on daily basis.
This
Linking Words
 will make them aware of the objects available present at the venue, making them curious to
visit
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 the place.
For instance
Linking Words
, the PAF museum should publish the background about the art gallery paintings on the
platform
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. which would result in the attraction of more public. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, historical places are losing their importance as leisure because of the
entertainment
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 present on social websites. One of the appropriate ways to encourage
people
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 to
visit
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 is by creating a presence of
such
Linking Words
 places on social media.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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